Pangri Zampa Monastery and Astrology Institute revisited!

Sunday Funday

Such a red-letter day.

Finally a chance to get back to Pangri Zampa and a chance to see how it has evolved. It is a tranquil sanctuary, just as we remembered it but now it is much more expansive and so thoroughly renovated.

Projects are still underway and obviously significant ‘Khempos’ are coming and teaching. While on our previous visits, it was hardly possible to sight a monk. It was at that time a sleepy, secluded and spectacular institute for the studies of astrology, not a thriving monk body with guidance and eminent teachers. Or at least that is the way it came across to us. 

                                                     

Shortly after arriving, we were invited into the room containing butter lamps and encouraged to light the last three ourselves. What a lovely gesture and of course we made a donation to ensure more butter lamps would be made and offered.

That in itself brightened my day and was almost the most positive change we have seen in Bhutan this time round.

Emerging from the room containing the burning butter lamps we discovered the taxi driver who had dropped us there was waiting outside, pointing at his bank account in his phone and muttering Nu. 200. After some confusion, both of us assuming that the electronic payment Ian had made was insufficient, he finally produced his wallet and refunded Ian that much money. We had in fact overpaid him and he had returned to find us to correct the imbalance! Well that was a first and certainly helped to restore our faith in humanity after recent events. 

We saw many, many more young monks in the monastery this time and they were both well behaved and looking exceedingly happy. It couldn’t help but transport me back to our much-loved Little Monks of Kep and the times we all shared. We still miss them. 

The courtyard was abuzz with anticipation and we observed the arrival of an obviously revered religious leader of the monk body. All the monks then silently followed him to a nearby hall and we continued our rather aimless rambling about their silent, serene and spectacular campus.

I’m grateful for the few days like this that are possible. When the connection to place, people and culture restores your inner calm and brings solace.  

And, also the foresight to try again and persist with one of the most magnificent and memorable experiences of previous times living in the capital.

Our last attempt was such a disaster that we started the day with trepidation and are so relieved to have ended it in jubilation. 

We walked over half the way back into Thimphu and felt both refreshed and revived after our thoroughly joyful morning and homemade picnic brunch in the beautiful grounds of the Astrology Institute.

Follow your heart! It is the path to happiness.

Mental Health and me -confessions of a serial writer.

I have always used writing as a way to cope and feel less anxious about current events in my life. It’s like once it’s on paper or these days on my phone, then it’s no longer playing in a loop in my head creating that monkey brain feeling. 

Every so often I come across something I wrote and it blasts me back to that exact time. There is no angst attached and much of what I read has already been completely forgotten and forgiven, however it always reconfirms for me that the simple act of writing it down is a release and a comfort. Most often I reread these scraps about a former me and a situation long ago resolved and discard them but sometimes I hold on to them just for the sheer exhilaration I feel at not only having survived, but having moved on with grace and dignity and largely forgotten those grievances and trials. 

It hasn’t always been that way. There have moments of hysteria and emotional outbursts, and trauma too great to merely subside of its own accord, so the palpable relief of writing has shown me, resilience can be learnt and relief can be achieved. 

I decided to publish this little gem, which I discovered on my phone when a recent update revealed documents I had thought were lost long ago. There is no need to date it and certainly no offence is intended. Quite the opposite, I can now feel proud that I never articulated any of these issues at the time but simply wrote a piece that was entitled “Time to Walk Away”. 

...........It was.......I did. 

 

“I don't want to have my work load increased by 25% by someone who freely admits they don't remember what my load is or doing it. 

 

I don't want to have to respond "I don't know," to students when they ask basic admin questions because so many decisions are made at the very last minute, behind closed doors and never informed to mere plebs. 

 

I don't want to meet deadlines for people who have no respect for my personal time. 

 

I don't want to be constantly told about teamwork while always being isolated from everyone and expected to work independently and then share. 

 

I don't have to feel like a leper.  

 

I don't want to be threateningly reminded about respect, sincerity and integrity without ever feeling I'm on the receiving end of any of them. 

 

I don't want to hear any more empty promises, be impacted by the double standards or have to tolerate those who only play lip service to what has been democratically agreed to. 

 

I don't want to sit through any more meetings with leaders who freely admit that they don't even remember what decisions were made. 

 

I don't want to write any more formal letters to request casual leave or permits or permission only to have to chase the recipient down to get a verbal approval at the eleventh hour. 

 

I don't want any more staff or students to TELL me that I am tutoring them English next term because they need to improve their language skills. 

 

I don't want to hear second hand that I don't smile enough when the person who says it, to a colleague not me, is a big part of the reason why. I smile at every kid I teach and they make me want to smile a lot of the time. Remember sincerity! 

 

I don't want to be told to take it lightly anymore ...... because I don't think that's what teaching is all about. I think you take it seriously and give it your heart and soul, and if you don't, just don't do it at all. 

 

And maybe I don't think I've got it in me to keep working this hard for five and a half days a week anymore. I can't do less so maybe I just won't do this anymore.”